I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Randomize