Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize