i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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