I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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