pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
