Christians are straight up FREAKS
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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