This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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