thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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