We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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