And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
and you fell through a lawn chair
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
