Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
