I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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