But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
