sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
