last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
