school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
