Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
