I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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