I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
