The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize