So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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