Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Houston, we have a squirter
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
