Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
