Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
