WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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