I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
