Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
