is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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