Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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