Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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