so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
