using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
