I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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