we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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