he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize