i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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