Are we in a gay sports bar?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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