Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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