I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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