absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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