You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I intend to get homeless drunk
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize