is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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