this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
