batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
