Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Hippo gnu deer
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
