I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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