Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
