I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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