idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
