Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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