Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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