Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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