Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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