I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
vagina is talking i cant
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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