They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
