Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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