You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
where are my eyebrows?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
